I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
