i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he puts the penis in happiness.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
