If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
