My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize