Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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