i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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