I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your cock deserves a montage
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
