When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
