He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize