There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's how pantless uber rides happen
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize