That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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