Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So many bounce houses so little time
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
