I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
