Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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