I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize