Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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