I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
