No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
