Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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