Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
