Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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