In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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