At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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