My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
