i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
