all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
