Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
