It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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