Having a random hookup so left but love u
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
