I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
