I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
