That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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