And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
