You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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