this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
