Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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