I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
