UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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