Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The Rock won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive. (505): The Rock won. http://tfl.nu/hvm5
  Replies (32) Good night (858) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend" http://tfl.nu/qrpo
  Replies (11) Good night (4752) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish http://tfl.nu/fhjl
  Replies (5) Good night (4016) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad http://tfl.nu/1udj
  Replies (13) Good night (1948) Bad night (5063)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp
  Replies (16) Good night (7829) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back. http://tfl.nu/58ah
  Replies (35) Good night (1250) Bad night (7453)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5441) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately. http://tfl.nu/6wdr
  Replies (8) Good night (796) Bad night (1890)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on. http://tfl.nu/t92u
  Replies (12) Good night (2191) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries http://tfl.nu/fs2y
  Replies (0) Good night (1098) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone http://tfl.nu/crvf
  Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder http://tfl.nu/9h6z
  Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow. http://tfl.nu/5cxp
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess. http://tfl.nu/mlk7
  Replies (0) Good night (232) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday http://tfl.nu/dcbo
  Replies (0) Good night (298) Bad night (128)

Randomize