I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
