She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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