i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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