Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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