I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
