Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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