i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
