Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
