Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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