I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
COCAINE IS GR8
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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