I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
