Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
