your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
