I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
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Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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