We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize