why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
