i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
