I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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