I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
