Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
this is an emotional support booty call
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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