She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
